Let's get something straight - I get tired of writing out "My oldest" - "My youngest" - "The Baby" - "My neighbor's mother-in-law's step-child" - "The Lady Who Cussed Me In My Driveway And Threatened To Beat My Pregnant A** And Lives 10 Houses Down I Found Out The Other Day"... but there is something fundamentally wrong with using real names here, for me - at least those of my children.
Truth be told, if I could post that crazy lady's name all over everywhere with the words "Stay Away From Psycho" somehow juxtaposed seamlessly within and not be potentially sued for defamation, I would. But I otherwise have an irrational fear of kidnapping or possible stalking. I just do. I can't help it. Ask my brother. But that doesn't mean I like not calling them by name.
And a long time ago, as random as being flashed the wiener of a strung-out junkie on the other side of a Paris, France Metro platform [that happened], I came up with two names I started calling the boys. Irka De Licker and Irka Del Wicker. I'd love to use those names here, but I can't just use Irka. How will you know exactly which Irka? And De Licker is the younger, which - you'd think - would be listed later than Del Wicker, but it just didn't happen that way. Del Wicker simply fits better after De Licker. And then when the baby came along, I had to come up with something for her, so Inga De Linga it is.
This is spiraling out of control. And I might be the only one who can keep it straight. So, for now - it's all going to just stay the way it is. I apologize if I've made you carsick.
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