Plush Carpets

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they vacuum a room. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they bathe too – like – how often. But that’s neither here nor there. Right now I’m talking about housekeeping habits, and we can talk about hygiene later if you want. How you really aren’t kidding anyone if you don’t smell good. And how washing your hair every day really doesn’t do anything for the health of it. But now I’m getting side-tracked. Seriously, how can I go on without addressing oral hygiene now, though? Folks, it’s an easy remedy. So, I really don’t even need to bring it up – other than to say, brushing and/or mouthwashing before huffing and puffing on a treadmill really does do a lot for the environment. Or should I say MY environment.

Okay. Now that I got that out – sheeeww sometimes I need a nap – let’s talk about the way we vacuum. Not everyone cares about this, but I find it important [or aesthetically pleasing rather] to vacuum OUT of a room… starting in a far corner and then backing away toward the door. Let me explain. First of all, it looks more like you DID just vacuum and second, third and fourth of all, you go over any footprints messing up the carpet pile. Unless of course you have Berber. Then, I guess none of this even matters. And truth be told, none of this really even matters at all except that it reminds me of my best pal, Erin, and her online dating conquest once.

Wait. I’d better have permission before continuing.

So. Without further adieu… Erin? Can we talk about that dude one time with all the pictures of his apartment, the 10 Axe body wash bottles in the shower and obvious vacuuming habits – Oh, and what about Scrapbooky Von Huxtable? I think I just did talk about it. So, that’s all, I guess. I was just now reminded of those boys while vacuuming in reverse. So...