I ... really might be super smart. Not even kidding you right now. I am so excited. About being a possible genius. And about being finished. Completely finished. Done. Signed. Sealed. Delivered. I'm yours - full-on finished shopping for the boys' school clothes. I did it all online apart from the shoes we got yesterday buy-one-get-one half off plus a friendly swipe of a $30 coupon the check-out gal had. I told her I'd tackle and kiss all over her face for giving us the random coupon if it weren't weird. And believe you me, she looked like she might have been okay with that. I don't mean she looked gay. Just affectionate. Since you can tell both simply by looking at someone. Or at least I can. I have gaydar and affectionate. Dar.
The school clothes part's true. Probably the genius part. Maybe the affectionatedar part. But the gaydar part is a misnomer presumably. It's still a funny word [funny ha ha] and funny [funny weird] when people claim to have a legitimately flawless set of gaydar skills. I'm not talking about pointing out the chubby dude dressed in a rainbow flag-turned-strapless-dress at the gay pride parade. I'm talking about hanging up from a political campaigning robocall convinced the automated voice's owner is gay. Like you can just tell these things.
I don't even know how I got here. I usually can't tell you how I get most places. But I was going to say how wonderful this is having thought to save myself the migraine and days recovering from several shopping trips with these people. THESE PEOPLE! Dear Lord these people. They are iiiiiin to the way they dress - something I'm sure I've addressed here before.
But this morning, I hear them talking at length about something. Then, they stormed downstairs with a firm plan in place to change into pajamas to wait for the UPS truck delivery as the tracking info predicts today the day of the school stuff arrival. I dashed those dreams with a quick reminder - the UPS truck usually arrives around 5pm when it arrives. And I have things to do. Places to go. People to see. And pjs are just all wrong for that sort of thing. So, they got dressed for real.
30 minutes later, JHeimer started changing his clothes. Why? Why!? Please tell me WHY you change clothes at least once a day! Because these BRAND NEW JEANS aren't comfortable. Were they uncomfortable when you tried them on? Yes. Then why didn't I return them before you 1. liked them 2. agreed to wear them 3. pulled the tags 4. said nothing about their comfort being on the dreadful? Don't know. Well, tell me what's wrong with them - are they too tight, scratchy, too stiff, what. They are too "boot cut" and not "straight cut" enough in the leg. Um. You don't get to change your clothes today - I guess until we have to try on the new stuff if it comes.
I'm still excited I don't have to shop for backpacks. Or lunch boxes. Or socks. Or anything. Let's all pray these things fit flawlessly. And not too boot-cutty.
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