The Inevitable

As awesome and exciting as it may seem to wait with baited breath, on pins and needles and white knuckles for the arrival of a baby… wait – I want to know who on earth thinks it seems awesome or exciting. And then I want to tell you your seemer is broken. What I seem to do best is handle things really well when they’ve been sprung upon me. Whatever the case may be, you most probably want me at your wedding. I don't know what it is with me and weddings, but I typically deal with something or someone I hadn't counted on remarkably well without much of a ruffled feather by the bride most importantly.

But I’ve also had several instances – at least three now – where the idea of having another child was sprung upon me. I can’t say we’ve ever flat-out TRIED to have these people. I mean, sure – we know what causes them and the risks involved when regular doses of hormones aren’t popped every day at the same exact time in hopes of preventing their conception. I’m just not willing to get on board with the idea of having any strand of pasta snipped and tied shut, not even now! And, um... I didn’t think I’d ever say this [so don’t quote me] but there’s something about being shoved off the edge of the cozy two-kid-ratio cliff to MIGHT-AS-WELL-HAVE-HALF-A-DOZEN that doesn’t freak me out. Shoot, you just find a way and you do it and most things after a newborn are springy and upony and if you can’t be flexible, you just end up bald for having torn your own hair out by the fist-full. So, anyway.

I really thought this baby was on her way last Saturday and in to Sunday. I really did. I was in lots of labor-ish pain – all the textbook signs and symptoms – the kind of pain, the location, the way it radiates, the inability to sleep thru it… but no. The only “not labor” sign was its irregularity. Well, that and my water hadn't broken or anything, but that only happens to 1/10 women anyway. And well, I went Monday and was told all was the very same as it was the previous week. So, boo. And now that it looks like she’ll be staying put until her actual, scheduled date, I will probably need to call and get some heavy-duty Valume. Like I said, I deal best when things are sprung upon me. Having to wait, seeing the bus headed at full-speed my way? Yeah. No. I don’t do that well. I was made to be completely thrown.