Monday, January 11, 2010

It's A Puzzle

I wonder how many people follow-thru with resolutions they've set out for a new year ahead. I guess if you've decided to breath every day or drink more water, that might be something you could do without really having to pay much attention - unless, of course, you hate water and only ever drink Dr Pepper or Fanta... only... Dr Pepper or Fanta. I don't actually know anyone who drinks only those two things. I like water just fine, in fact. Besides, I'm talking about real goals here. I'm talking about, say, making a big decision - one that will change one's title, identity or existence in a pretty big way. No, I am not talking about gender reassignment surgery. Golly!

But as I reflect on where I was this time last year - having no idea this would be ahead for me - just about to start the second half of my second semester back to school, I wonder what else will be ahead. I don't make resolutions, really. I don't set myself up for a kick-start only to put things off until the start of yet another new year. I like to be all sorts of spontaneous... keep people guessing. Nice and wacky, that's how I roll. And if you know me at all, you know I am nothing short of passionate about several trillion things. So, resolving to pick a new thing, focus on just one thing, or even pair down that list is a feat I already know I'd mess up.

So, to stick with the trend, I have to let things constantly change. Goals are realized and some are even extinguished all together. For example, my idea for this child would be much different than when I had my first two. I waited until both boys were in school full time before returning to school myself. But I don't think I'll wait nearly as long at all this time. However, now that I know her, what exactly the action-plan will be, I have no idea. I loved Psychology. I loved being able to dive right in, having completed all necessary prerequisite courses. And I did really well. But we're talking about an eight year track with that... at the very least - AFTER I begin again. There isn't much you can do without a masters in Psychology. So, it's starting to seem like such a something I'm not sure I would even love once I'm there... not to mention driving Brent NUTS with the "Let's diagnose them!" game. [yes, that probably includes you.]

But did you know I already know how to cut hair pretty well? Hair school sounds fun - and it's only 9 months long. But that's Monday thru Saturday, 9 until 4. No room for sick-days, kids. Sorry! Don't cough on your friends and, here, take this Tylenol every four hours on the dot so we don't get caught having fever. Lay your head on your desk and just tell your teacher you're praying if you need to rest up. You can stay home in 9 months. Uh... yeah, no.

Then there's culinary school. What's that like for someone like me - a full time mom of 3? And is our local school even worth it compared to being able to say I've been to the finest school in the world? I don't want a restaurant. I don't want to be a chef in the back of some hotel. I'd love to teach people how to cook, conduct cooking demos or even be a private chef. Do I hear an Oklahoma City Thunder basketball player? Huh? Huh?

No, that's a baby. But that's okay. Do I love too many things?

Weddings? Bakery? Landscape? Nursing? Teaching? Therapy? Organization skill lessons? Gaw, I feel like I'm 18 again about to declare "undecided" as my major. Thank God I don't have to choose today, but let me tell ya... I may never know - and that bugs me. Luckily I can be just what I am right now and not have to lose sleep over it. But, still... I am so much more. Maybe too much more.

No comments: