To Polish a Turd

Do you know what would be nice?  Winning the lottery.  That's what.  I'd even share some with you.  But I'm not going to hold my breath.  You go right ahead, though.  In fact, I'm not even going to buy a ticket.  So, how this is going to happen for me, I don't actually know.  But, I'd still love to win.  I can't imagine I wouldn't love a fun find even if I had all the money in the world to spend.  I'm talking about a bargain here, people.

I recently saw this picture and immediately wanted a gumball machine.

So, to ebay I went.  I found loads - and fell in love with a particular yellow antique machine listed for $130.  Yeah.  My eyes fell out of my head too.  I contacted the seller via email and asked a few questions about it.  I mean, it said feel free to contact the seller with any questions.  I wasn't actually thinking I was going to get away with spending that much on a gumball machine without being at least resented for approximately 4 years. 

I'm not some vintage vending enthusiast, after all, and neither are any of my friends.  I'm not going to have someone over who is going to gasp and fly across my kitchen to closely examine the authenticity of the original color, glass and key.  Because of course... those features are to be expected when acquiring such a specimen.  No need to have those be the biggest selling points, Dear Ebay Seller.  And I realize maybe asking Ebay Seller a few questions about it when I had no intention of really buying it might have been a little annoying, perhaps a waste of their time.  

It could be why after an email or two the tone went from "Thanks for asking; I'm taking offers." to "Maybe you should shop more often at The Dollar Store if you're going to be so insulting!" after having made the comment I was only interested in spending $30 tops [an unofficial, off-the-record thought, not an actual low-ball offer over ebay].  And maybe it was unnecessary to smart off with "$130.  Good luck with that."  and "Oh, for the gumballs!  Thanks for the tip!" in response to the Dollar Store suggestion.

And so... I went on with life.  I called a few local places.  No real luck.  Then, I called one last place.  The lady had two.  She agreed she would put my name on BOTH until I could make it out there after the baby's nap as it would be at least a 20 minute drive without traffic.  I got all geared up.  I headed over.  I walk in and low and behold!  A gumball machine in the shape of a mallard duck with a giant glass globe coming out of its hind end as if the thing farts gumballs.  Hmm... can we see the other one?  She lead us around, up a step, down a step, stroller barely fitting thru the place.  And then - I could hear a crescendo of angels in glorious harmony as we happen upon The. GUM. BALL. MACHINE.

It's yellow.

It's... old.

It works.

And.

Guess how much it was.

Go ahead.  Guess.

Thirty bucks.

And all I have to say to Ebay Seller?  La Dee Frickin' Daw!!

I've also decided the dealy bop in our room I got from my mom's might be better used in the living room for the dad-blasted toy situation I've got going on.  We'll see, but I did already go back to the same gumball machine place to find a fantastic dresser for under $100!  It needed a little dust-down, but otherwise I LOVE it and it's going to either be in addition or just instead of the other thingy.  See, design has to change with the needs of the client like that.  Pictures later.